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What Makes Someone Avoid Doing Sex At All?

Having Sex should be a fun and can be the most waiting activity. But in fact, not all of the people in this world are actually willing to do, some of them avoid having sex, or even just talking about sex they don't want to. In the medical term, this condition is referred to as sexual anorexia. What caused it?

Sexual anorexia is not just fear of having sex

When you hear about anorexia, you may immediately imagine a figure of a very thin person because he has an eating disorder. Yes, people with anorexia are usually obsessed with avoiding various types of food for their own satisfaction.

A man afraid of having sex with his partner
In addition, People who have sexual anorexia also have an obsession to avoid various things about sex. They will usually close their eyes and ears quickly when there are things related to sex around them.

For instance, people with sexual anorexia will feel embarrassed and uncomfortable when looking at lingerie images that are very synonymous with sex or pornography. They regard this as a taboo and inappropriate to talk, even if it is only for discussion or education.

They also consider sex as a disgusting and frightening thing that makes them anxious. So, do not be surprised if after a long time they become afraid of having sex with their partners. As a result, they no longer care about the beauty of love, touching, dating, and even having sex with a partner.

What caused it?


In most cases, sexual anorexia starts from past trauma related to sexual matters. For example, he was a victim of sexual violence when he was a child. This kind of trauma can be experienced by anyone, both women and men.

According to a sex expert and the author of the book Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred, Dr. Patrick Carnes, rejection of everything about sex is an unconscious mechanism to avoid flashbacks (memories of flashbacks) of the trauma along with other symptoms that can accompany it such as anxiety, stress, and panic.

Quoted from Very Well Mind, sexual anorexia sufferers generally also experience addiction problems with various other things. Starting with food addiction, drug addiction, and so on.

In addition to psychological disorders, sexual anorexia can also be caused by biological factors. For example, imbalances hormones in the body, drug use, and fatigue. People who have just given birth are also very likely to avoid having sex due to childbirth trauma.

The characteristics of people with sexual anorexia

If people with anorexia generally experience no appetite, then people with sexual anorexia tend to lose their sex passion. This is not only marked by the emergence of fear of having sex, but it can also be seen physically.

The following are various other signs and symptoms of sexual anorexia, namely:

Afraid of having sex with a partner.Afraid of sexually transmitted diseases.Viewing sex as a negative, dirty, or damaged thing.Feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable when someone is talking about sex.Decreased sexual desire or libido, so that can trigger impotence in men.

Can sexual anorexia be overcome?

Symptoms of sexual anorexia are quite difficult to detect. Because the symptoms of sexual anorexia tend to be similar to other health problems that have nothing to do with sex.


For example, a decrease in sexual arousal in men and women can occur due to factors such as fatigue, drugs, or symptoms of certain diseases. This is common when a person is stressed or exhausted, not because of sexual anorexia.

If you, your partner, or the closest person has a phobia of sex, you should immediately visit a sex therapist, counselor, or certified psychologist. They will see your physical and psychological condition, whether or not it really leads to sexual anorexia.

You might also be asked to do a blood test to see hormone levels in the body. If your body's hormones are not balanced, then this is what might become the cause of your sex drive. That is why all this time you have become reluctant and afraid of having sex.


Doctors may also give certain drugs to balance hormone levels in your body. But if the sexual anorexia you experience is caused by trauma, then you will be directed to undergo certain therapies to heal the trauma.

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