Embarking on the Leadership Journey: Preparing Yourself for the River Ahead

 

It's difficult pinpoint the exact moment when the seed of leadership was planted within me. It could have been during my days as a cub scout, where I dabbled in various sports, not always with remarkable success. I may not have held the title of captain on any team, but I always admired the person who stood at the forefront, rallying the team forward. It was that spirit of leadership that I found captivating.

 Even before I knew what to call it, I had a natural talent for bringing people together, for uniting them behind a common goal. Whether or not I held a formal leadership position, I had an innate ability to foster consensus—a trait that we now recognize as Emotional Intelligence or EQ. I’m pretty sure we'll delve deeper into this concept later in the book.

 However, what remains crystal clear in my memory is encountering poor leadership early on. From my very first job at a now long-forgotten retail store, I recall uninspiring, complacent, and sometimes downright ineffective superiors who, by their titles, were supposed to be my guides. I distinctly remember thinking, "This place could run so much better if its leaders simply tried." What I didn't fully grasp at the time was that this inner turmoil was a call to action, an impulse to improve situations and work towards better outcomes—a call to leadership.

 The turning point came shortly after my 18th birthday when I was hired as the "Manager" of a small store, entrusted with the responsibility of leading a team of three other employees. My prior experiences ranged from sweeping tennis courts to stocking shelves and a brief stint in direct sales. How I managed to convince the owner to hire me remains a blur, but one thing was certain—I was bursting with enthusiasm and painfully unprepared.

 As we embark on this journey together, I want to uncover the origins of the River Guide mentality—the mindset that would shape my leadership approach. So, let's explore this journey together.

 Understanding the role of a leader

 I've witnessed both exemplary and lacking leadership throughout my experiences. You should understand that being a leader isn't just about holding a title; it's about cultivating an identity. Not all managers are leaders, and not all leaders are managers. Managers handle things and processes, while leaders guide and inspire others. Do you get that?

 Personally, I don't consider myself a manager. When I critically assess my skills, I'd say I'm decent at management, but that's not where I excel. To me, the essence of leadership is simple: it's the willingness to give of oneself in a way that makes those around you feel valued, acknowledged, safe, and motivated toward a common mission or goal.

 

If your aspiration to become a leader is solely driven by personal gain, self-promotion, or a rapid climb up the corporate hierarchy, I might not meet your expectations. While those outcomes can result from great leadership, they should not be the primary focus. Here's my promise: if you continue this journey with me, you'll understand what it takes, recognize the sacrifices involved, and confront the most crucial question of all: Are you truly willing? Below are some leadership roles you must pay attention to:

 

l  Vision and Goal Setting: As a leader, you are responsible for defining a clear vision and setting achievable goals for your team or organization. This vision serves as a guiding light that helps everyone understand the direction they should be moving in.

 

l  Communication: Effective communication is a cornerstone of leadership. Being a leader, you have to convey your vision and expectations clearly, listen to feedback, and foster open and honest communication within your team.

 

l  Decision-Making: You will often face tough decisions as a leader. So, you need to be skilled at gathering information, analyzing options, and making choices that align with the overall goals and values of your group.

 

l  Motivation and Inspiration: As a leader, it is part of your role to inspire and motivate your team members to give their best efforts. This can involve recognizing and appreciating individual contributions, providing constructive feedback, and creating an environment where people feel valued and empowered. It is only by doing this you can get the best out of your team.

 

l  Problem Solving: Challenges and problems are inevitable. So, you should be adept at identifying issues, devising solutions, and leading your team through difficult situations. Bear in mind that if you get freaked out by challenges, everyone in your team will suffer the consequences and you might not get a worthwhile result.

 

l  Adaptability: The world is constantly changing. And you have to be flexible and adaptive as a leader. You should be able to adjust your strategies and plans as circumstances evolve.

 

l  Team Building: Building a cohesive and high-performing team is a crucial part of leadership. Therefore, you should select and develop team members, foster collaboration, and create an inclusive and supportive environment. I will still elaborate more on this when we get to chapter 3.

 

l  Accountability: As a leader, you must take responsibility for the outcomes of your decisions and the performance of your team. In essence, you lead by example, demonstrating integrity, ethics, and a strong work ethic.

 

l  Development and Growth: Great leaders are committed to the growth and development of their team members. To perform efficiently as a leader, you should provide opportunities for skill-building and career advancement, helping your team reach their full potential.

 

l  Emotional Intelligence: Understanding and managing emotions, both yours and those of others, is vital for effective leadership. Leaders with high emotional intelligence can empathize with team members and handle conflicts constructively. So, you should be empathetic to a fault as a leader.

 

l  Innovation: Encouraging innovation and creativity can be a significant part of leadership. So, you should be open to new ideas and willing to take calculated risks to drive progress as a leader.

 

l  Long-Term Perspective: Leaders often need to balance short-term goals with long-term objectives. You have to be forward-thinking and consider the sustainability and future success of the team or organization.

 

The importance of self-awareness

 In my family, skills seemed to flow like a river. My wife and three children were a whirlwind of musical talents - singing, instruments, acting - you name it. It was just one facet of their incredible abilities. Then there was my son. He had this uncanny knack for working with his hands. He's an electrician, and he understands the intricacies of things like direct current, alternating current, and switch legs. Honestly, when he starts explaining it, I get lost in the jargon.

 

But here's the thing about my son, beyond his technical prowess. He's a natural leader. People are drawn to him like magnets, and they willingly follow him even though he doesn't hold any formal authority. It's a charisma that's hard to explain; it's just who he is.

 Now, knowing our skills is essential, but it's even more critical to understand ourselves. I had to learn this the hard way. For the first twelve years of my career in management, I found myself constantly mimicking the styles of others, hoping to fit into some predefined mold of a leader.

 The turning point came when I decided to embrace my authentic self. It's not an easy journey, mind you. It's about shedding the masks we wear and facing who we truly are. A valuable exercise I discovered was to ask people I trusted to share their perspectives on me - what they liked and even the aspects that might be a little challenging.

 Analyzing these insights against my self-perception wasn't always comfortable because, let's face it, I had been putting on a game face for a long time. But it was a necessary step.

 Someone wise once said: 'As long as you are not being your authentic self, you will live in conflict which restricts your ability to give yourself and others your best.' And let me tell you, it's true. The moment I started being true to myself, both in my personal and professional life, that's when I truly began to thrive.

 Self-awareness is the foundation upon which effective leadership is built, as it enables leaders to better understand themselves and those they lead. In essence, it is paramount for effective leadership. And here's why:

 

l  Improved Decision-Making: As a self-aware leader, you will understand your own biases, values, and emotions. This awareness allows you to make more objective and well-informed decisions.

 l  Enhanced Communication: Knowing your strengths and weaknesses helps in communicating more authentically. Being a self-aware leader will enable you to adapt your communication style to connect better with different team members.

 l  Empathy and Understanding: Self-aware Leaders are often more empathetic. It will be easy for you to put yourself in others' shoes, leading to better relationships and team dynamics.

 l  Conflict Resolution: Self-awareness enables you, as a leader, to recognize your role in conflicts and take responsibility for your actions. This paves the way for constructive conflict resolution.

l  Adaptability: Self-awareness helps you identify areas where you need to grow and adapt. As a self-aware leader, you will be open to feedback and continuous improvement.

 l  Credibility: If you have awareness about yourself as a leader, you will acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. This will enable you to gain credibility and trust from your team. So, honesty fosters a positive work environment.

 l  Personal Development: Self-awareness makes you more committed to your own growth being a leader. And you can set an example for your team members to do the same.

 

Building a leadership mindset

To build a great leadership mindset, you must fully understand how it works. We have two types of mindset – fixed and growth mindset. People with fixed mindsets become easily complacent about their situation because they feel nothing can be done to change the narrative. But as a leader, you only have to embrace a growth mindset. Even if challenges come or you fail, you should find a way of excelling.

On the river journey, we had smooth sailing because Tom, our guide, was confident and he must have equipped himself with a positive mindset. And this has helped me greatly too throughout my journey as a leader. I hardly settle for less. In essence, building a leadership mindset involves cultivating the right attitudes and habits to become an effective leader. Here's how you can do it:

 

1.    Self-Reflection: You can reflect on your values, strengths, and weaknesses. Understand what drives you and what you're passionate about.

2.   Continuous Learning: Embrace a mindset of continuous learning. Seek opportunities to expand your knowledge and skills, not only in your field but also in leadership and interpersonal areas.

3.         Resilience: You should develop resilience to handle setbacks and challenges. Leaders often face adversity, and the ability to bounce back is crucial.

4.         Embrace Feedback: Be open to feedback, both positive and constructive. Use it as a tool for growth and improvement.

5.         Empathy: Also, you should cultivate empathy by putting yourself in others' shoes. Understand their perspectives and emotions to build stronger relationships.

6.         Vision: Essentially, you need to define a clear vision for yourself and your team. What are your long-term goals, and how do you plan to achieve them?

7.         Accountability: You should take responsibility for your actions and decisions. Accountability is a cornerstone of trust in leadership.

8.         Adaptability: Be flexible and adaptable in the face of change. The business landscape is constantly evolving, and you have to keep pace as a leader.

9.         Effective Communication: Hone your communication skills, both verbal and non-verbal. Clear and transparent communication is key to rallying a team.

10.     Team Building: Also, you need to foster teamwork and collaboration. Recognize the strengths of each team member and create an environment where everyone can contribute their best.

11.     Lead by Example: Set the tone by modeling the behavior and work ethic you expect from others. Most time your actions speak more.

12.     Innovation: As a leader, you should encourage innovation and creativity. In essence, you have to be open to new ideas and approaches.

13.     Time Management: Learn to manage your time efficiently. Prioritize tasks and delegate when necessary. With this, you will manage your time better and achieve a lot.

14.     Self-Care: Don't forget to take care of yourself. Effective leaders need to be in good physical and mental shape to perform at their best. Remember, self-care is not selfishness.

15.     Mentorship: Seek mentors or role models who can guide you in your leadership journey. Learn from their experiences. Doing this can equally boost your mindset as a leader.

16.     Networking: You should build a strong professional network. Connect with peers, mentors, and others in your industry.

17.     Humility: You must stay humble and approachable as a leader. Admit when you don't know something and be willing to learn from those around you.

18.     Long-Term Perspective: Focus on long-term goals and sustainability rather than short-term gains.

19.     Problem Solving: Develop problem-solving skills. Leaders are often called upon to find solutions to complex issues.

20.    Positive Mindset: Essentially, you need to cultivate a positive attitude. Positivity can be contagious and motivate your team even in challenging times.

 

Embracing the river metaphor

 When our middle daughter was a young child, she had a nightly ritual of requesting a song from her dad before bedtime. Her favorite was "The River" by Garth Brooks, as its lyrics painted vivid images in her head, and I happened to know most of the words.

 One evening, I was away on a business trip, and my daughter turned to my wife with a special request, 'Mommy, sing me 'The River!' With her beautiful, perfect pitch, my wife began to sing the song. But within seconds, my daughter stopped her and said, 'No, Mommy, sing it like Dad!' I can only imagine the stifled laughter as my wife replied, 'Honey, I can't.’

 I've always loved that song as well. The song goes thus:

 “You know a dream is like a river

Ever changin' as it flows

And a dreamer's just a vessel

That must follow where it goes

Trying to learn from what's behind you

And never knowing what's in store

Makes each day a constant battle

Just to stay between the shores

And I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Like a bird upon the wind

These waters are my sky

I'll never reach my destination

If I never try

So I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside

And let the waters slip away

'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow

It has now become today

So don't you sit upon the shoreline

And say you're satisfied

Choose to chance the rapids

And dare to dance that tide

And I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Like a bird upon the wind

These waters are my sky

I'll never reach my destination

If I never try

So I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

There's bound to be rough waters

And I know I'll take some falls

With the good Lord as my captain

I can make it through them all

And I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Like a bird upon the wind

These waters are my sky

I'll never reach my destination

If I never try

So I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Lord, I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry

Yeah.”

 

Its lyrics remind us that life is like a river, constantly changing as it flows, and we, as dreamers, are vessels that must follow where it goes. Each of us may have our own tributaries or creeks, but ultimately, we are all headed somewhere. The key is to be in harmony with the river of life, not to fight it. That's the journey we're on together. So, embracing the river metaphor in the context of leadership means recognizing that leadership, like a river, is dynamic and ever-changing. So, grab your life vest, and let's go.

Here's how this metaphor can be understood:

 l  Flow of Change: Rivers constantly flow, meandering through various terrains. Similarly, leadership involves navigating through a changing landscape, adapting to new challenges, and finding the best course of action.

l  Obstacles: Rivers encounter obstacles like rocks and rapids, just as leaders face obstacles and hurdles in their journey. As an effective leader, you must learn to navigate around these obstacles or find ways to overcome them.

l  Direction: Rivers have a general direction, but they may take unexpected turns. Leadership requires a clear vision or purpose, but flexibility is necessary when unexpected opportunities or challenges arise.

l  Erosion and Growth: Rivers shape the landscape over time through erosion and sediment deposition. Leaders influence their environment through their actions and decisions, shaping the culture and growth of their teams or organizations.

l  Nourishment: Rivers provide nourishment to the surrounding land. As a leader, you also need to nurture the growth and development of your team members, providing them with the support and resources they need to thrive.

l  Unity: Rivers bring diverse sources of water together into a single flow. Similarly, leaders unite diverse individuals and talents into a cohesive team, leveraging their unique strengths for a common purpose.

l  Power: Rivers can be calm or powerful, depending on the circumstances. You also need to harness your power effectively as a leader. It is essential you know when to be assertive and when to be collaborative.

l  Continuity: Rivers have a timeless quality, flowing through generations. Leadership is not just about the present; it involves considering the long-term impact of decisions and actions.

l  Harmony with Nature: Rivers are a part of the natural world. Similarly, good leaders understand the importance of harmonizing their leadership style with the needs and values of their team and organization.

l  Adaptability: Rivers adapt to seasonal changes, just as leaders must adapt to changing market conditions, technology, and societal trends. You must always be ahead too as a leader.

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